A Dozen Things More Interesting Than Watching Michael Phelps Race A Shark

When I first heard the Discovery Channel’s announcement that Olympic gold medalist, Michael Phelps, would be racing a great white shark I was both intrigued and confused. Would Phelps be out in the open ocean, swimming for his life? Would he and the shark be in a pool, separated by a barrier and racing once a gun went off? Well, all my guesses were wrong.

The event, named “Phelps vs. Shark: The Battle for Ocean Supremacy”, aired on July 23 and it was a hell of a disappointment. Instead of physically racing the scary beast, Michael was told to swim 100 meters in a specific amount of time–whether or not he beat said time determined his win. Scientists studied great white sharks in their natural habitat and estimated that Phelps had to swim the distance in 36.1 seconds.

The swimmer was geared up in a thin wetsuit and a prosthetic fin, but at the end of the day he still wound up “losing” by two seconds. A pretty tight race, even though he was just swimming against a CGI shark–which isn’t very thrilling, in my opinion.

Here are a couple of things I think would be a better use of your time:

1. Watch paint dry.

2. Read a dictionary.

3. Watch how soy sauce is made.

4. Watch this guy review food from Wendy’s.

5. Learn how to swim.

6. See a shark give birth.

7. Learn how to French braid.

8. Watch bread rise.

9. Marathon all five of the Sharknado movies.

10. Bake an apple pie from scratch.

11. Organize your desk.

12. Go grocery shopping.

Originally published on FlockU
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