Dating Today Terrifies Me

A friend and I were out getting lunch one day when the topic of dating, and how we were afraid of today’s dating scene, came up.

I’ve been dating the same person for the last four years–an eternity in college. The last time I was single, Vine had just been createdPrince George was born and the Harlem Shake was the latest internet sensation.

Because of this, I’ve never had to use Tinder or Bumble or anything else of that nature to find a date or hookup – not that there’s anything wrong with having to do that.

When I talk to my friends, the words they use to describe their ‘relationships’ confuse me: “we’re hooking up,” “we’re seeing each other,” “we’re talking,” “we’re just hanging out.”

What does it all mean? What’s the difference between “seeing” someone and “dating” someone? Does anyone know nowadays? They all seem to be different words that, at the end of the day, mean the same thing: nothing.

Perhaps I’m a bit old-fashioned in this regard, but when I think of dating, I don’t think of running around with every person in town until I find one I might want to spend more time with. I believe in being a touch more exclusive.

If the first date goes poorly, I think you need to make that clear with whoever you’re on said date with – don’t just fool around with them because you’re horny, that’s a real easy way to get in some trouble.

I’ve had friends of mine go on casual dates with multiple people simultaneously, only to announce that they weren’t interested in any of them, but just wanted to “make sure” before giving up. Five dates to “make sure” sounds like three dates too many in my opinion.

Why waste the time, money and effort on something you’re half-assing? And this isn’t just a chick thing, I know plenty of dudes who go on dates with women they don’t like “just because.”

There are also the dreaded horror stories that come with dating nowadays.

Remember that guy who sued a woman for texting on a date? How far does your head have to be up your own ass to do something like that? Or that other guy who hooked up with a woman on Tinder, only for her to stay in his home for several days and require removal by law enforcement?

I miss the days when we could talk to one another in a normal environment and get to know each other in-person, not via text.

Nowadays, a person can meet someone online, talk to them for two weeks, find out their entire life story and then having nothing to talk about once they actually meet. Where’s the fun in that?

Texts can’t convey tone or sarcasm, the best we can do is use an emoji and hope things don’t go astray.

Before I get hate, I’d like to point out that this is not slut-shaming – I’m all for casual sex. I just wish things in the dating world were better defined, and that getting in a new relationship wasn’t so damn complicated.

Originally published on FlockU

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