Food is one of those things we need to survive. It gives us nutrients, can help us in social situations and even fight depression, but food can also mess up your chances of getting laid.
Here’s a guide to some foods you should avoid if you’re looking to put your mouth on someone else’s.
Tacos are delicious, everyone knows this. But, eating the delectable morsels while on a date is a recipe for disaster.
It’s almost impossible to eat a taco without spilling something – whether that something is sauce, meat or cheese – on yourself, leaving you looking like a not-so-hot mess. And don’t forget the onion and cilantro, these tasty herbs will leave your breath smelling the opposite of fresh.
2. Ribs or wings.
We’re back in mess-ville. While ribs and wings are amazing to eat – especially after a few pitchers – their necessary sauciness can leave you looking unappetizing. Plus, it’s almost impossible to hold a conversation while gnawing on some wings, and the first step into a girl’s pants is by getting her into a good conversation.
Despite what you’ve seen in Lady and the Tramp, you shouldn’t order this dish with anyone you’ve just met. Besides forcing you to make slurping noises–which are never pretty–spaghetti sauce also has a nasty habit of dripping. Plus, lipstick doesn’t stand a chance against a marinara sauce.
4. Corn on the cob.
Besides looking like you’re biting into something phallic–an image no guy is comfortable with–after eating an ear of corn you’re usually left with butter on your hands, yellow flecks in your teeth and a touch of heartburn.
You’ve all heard the song: beans, beans, the musical fruit, the more you eat, the more you toot–and tooting is one thing you shouldn’t be doing if you’re trying to get laid.
6. Anything spicy.
If you think you might be getting lucky at the end of the night, do your best to avoid anything with spice in it. There’s nothing worse than going down on someone only to have their private parts catch “fire”.
Now, this one I’m only warning against because of the potential for danger. Seafood, especially shellfish, have a nasty habit of giving you stomach problems if they’re prepared improperly. They can also leave you smelling fishy, and everyone knows that isn’t a good thing. Put down the oyster and opt for some fries instead.